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The Two Sides of Me

This is me

This is me

I'm not sure if the two me's overlap, or if they are completely different?

Part of me has a life. 

I sew. I model.
I read.
I write (and have manuscripts to prove it).
I have friends (and spend time with them. At least long enough for a selfie).
I have family.
I always have something big happening, normally more than one thing at a time.
And my clothes are very . . . shall we say artistic?
Mostly I smile, but sometimes I share about pain, or my Dad being in a car accident and nearly dying, or rocky friendships, or stress. I have a colorful life, and the colors spread from pink to black, to all the shades between.
Overall, when you see me you see an unending variety of life.

Part of me has no life . . . 
. . . Yet, that part of me seems to be obsessed with mirrors and smiling and cleaning.
EVERYTHING is clean.
My humor is clean.
My singing is clean (and the toilet brush is my mic).
My friends are clean.
My day is clean. 
I walk to work because that keeps my…
Recent posts

Settling Into A Routine Of Spontaneity

Do you believe in routines?
I do.
I believe they are those beautiful fairytales that humans like to talk about, but rarely actually match our full reality.

In all honesty, I love having myself a structured daily routine.
But ... I think one of the hardest things I've ever had to learn is that the only way to have a successful, peaceful life it to learn how to roll with our messed up routines. You know, be resourceful and accommodating, ever ready with a smile rather than a shout.

Keyword: learning.
I still haven't mastered full acceptance.
I love having one, though one of the hardest things I've had to learn in life is that the only way to have a successful peaceful routine, is to allow for our routines to be messed up.

I'm learning to not mind my well-meant plans failing.

And I'm learning to fit myself into others' plans and routines.
I still haven't settled into a full routine here in Germany. And I really wonder if I will and should. You see, I'm he…

Chapter Nine: The Rings

It was too cold to be outside, but Susan needed the fresh air, so, carrying everything she had of Narnia (the box of rings and the compact mirror), Susan took a blanket and sat in the sunniest chair.

To be alone and not alone at once—that was what she needed. A break from therapists, church gossips, and the Bryants (even Carl) while surrounded by something alive that could not harm her or condemn her.

The entire month of February ate away at Susan. She was not getting better, and everything was only worse.

The therapist was frustrated with Susan because she would hardly talk, and, when asked how she was doing, Susan would say, “I am coping.” The woman was not satisfied with such vague words, but if Susan would actually tell the truth, the therapist would look at Susan as if she were pitiful.

No one was supposed to know about the therapist, but whenever Susan went out (which was only when the Bryants took her to church or demanded she go to a party with Carl), she heard the people aro…

"I Think I Can"

Proverbs 26:12
Do you see a man wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.
1 Peter 5:5 Likewise, younger ones, be subject to older ones, and all being subject to one another. Put on humility. For God resists proud ones, but He gives grace to the humble.
St. Augustine of Hippo  'Pride is the commencement of all sin' because it was this which overthrew the devil, from whom arose the origin of sin; and afterwards, when his malice and envy pursued man, who was yet standing in his uprightness, it subverted him in the same way in which he himself fell. For the serpent, in fact, only sought for the door of pride whereby to enter when he said, 'Ye shall be as gods.'
Confidence.  Are you confident?  Do you want to be confident? 
Many of you will think, "Yes!"  Some of you will wonder and even say, "No. Pride is a sin."  A few of you will say, "I am."  A few of you will say, "Am I allowed?" 
First, let me state that conf…

Things To Know Before Traveling

Things I forgot: Our hostel proved bedding, and a bathroom with a shower. But nothing to dry off with. Bring a towel. There are drawers under each bunk for your things and a way to lock them if you have your own padlock. Nothing of ours was stolen, but then most people don't appreciate the beauty of my dresses like I do, so I didn't really need to worry. But if you stay several days in a hostel and want to leave valuables under the bed, bring a padlock. Always check the weather. Thankfully, I did that and brought umbrellas. But next time I'll also bring a rain cover of sort for my backpack, and also plastic bags for my phone and electronics as my phone was water damaged. A hat for my cold ears (thankfully Kathlyn had one).
Things I'm glad I remembered to bring: Battery pack and charging cordCash (most places in Germany don't take cards). My passport. You never know when you'll be asked for it. A water bottle. Hydration is always important, no matter where you'…

How Country Girls Become Tourists PART TWO

By the end of the previous day, Kathlyn and I had walked 34,000 steps. We were soaked and exhausted, and considered eating out—we actually found a lovely place called KartoffelLand (Potatoe Country), but it was full. We didn't want fast food, so we bought some bread, cheese, and fruit from a grocery, then ate it on her bed.

Someone else had the bed I was sleeping in the night before, so I claimed another empty bunk, though I think this time it actually was number five (and if not five, it was six, and whoever should have had six was sleeping in my bed). Later some other girls came into the room and had a bit of trouble sorting out whose bunk was whose. It was fun being the observer this time around.

Kathlyn and I talked to the girl a bit more, whose bed I'd slept in for an hour the night before, and had fun getting to know her.
We'd originally planned to walk three hours to Bonhoeffer's house, but we were exhausted from the day before. So we slept until seven or eight…

How Country Girls Become Tourists PART ONE

I remember hearing of Kathlyn many times through another friend as "someone like you, who also travels." But because of the fact that she liked to travel, whenever I was around she wasn't. 
A few months back she sent me a Facebook friend request and we talked a bit, about life and work and how it'd be fun to get a place together. I think I'd even considered employing her as I was desperate to find someone to clean for me at the time. But despite our great FB chat and us only living an hour and a half apart, we never managed to actually meet up in person. 
But ... as I was coming to Germany, I saw she was coming, too. So, of course, I had to message her about it. I found out she'd come to work for a farm and was here only six weeks, and wanted to see some things but not on her own. 
So, I suggested we meet up and see Dietrich Bonhoeffer's house, as she didn't seem to care what she saw as long as it was something German. Now I'm quite used to makin…