Several times throughout the night I woke up and drank ten or so sips of water, then blew my nose. By morning the wind-damage felt mostly healed, but I felt depleted from the battle. I wore no blankets, yet I stank from sweat.
I watched a mouse run across my room. I was too tired to do anything but stare. In the kitchen another mouse traveled under the stove, around the kitchen, back tracked under the kitchen sinks.
Those little stinkers. I'd do something about it. Perhaps. I've been saying that nearly every morning for weeks.
I took vitamins and applied garlic to a large something forming under my left eyebrow, then to my swollen chin. Then I ate the garlic.
Don't say ew. I have more to say.
I made a breakfast of sustenance.
Two bananas
Collagen (for my hair)
Milk
Salt
4 farm eggs (raw).
I don't have a blender, so ran over to my mom's house I blended it well. I wasn't hungry that early in the morning, but had a few sips then put it in a quart jar.
It was a rushed, short morning. The hardest sort. I did not read nor clean. I barely had time to blend the shake and dress before commuting to work.
My tires skidded up and out of my drive... I was determined and just made it.
A long drive today, an hour and twenty minutes to one of my favorite Montana towns. I drove through two passes, the most beautiful dangerous mountain views. The drive was my coffee; better even than tea.
I pull up to my house, against a curb. Except I run into the curb and honk my horn and feel really stupid and exhausted. While waiting for my client, I read a page of my book. A very good page.
"Happiness and nonsense are two different things" - Growth of the Soil
I did a move-out through an agency that seems to think I'm the kindest cleaner. Probably because I do everything they ask of me. Today I picked up dog poop. But I'm always paid well. Very well. I cleaned a lovely old house remodeled to look like a stylish modern cabin. Loved the wooden shelving. Also there was a small shop.
I found treasures, sipped my shake, and replaces dust and dirt with magic.
I read it in search of the meaning of the quote, "Women can't write."
I found the quote, but need to read the book once more to understand the context.
I think: there is this kind, loveable overlooked young lady who refuses to marry until she realizes that it doesn't matter if she can or can't write as a woman. She writes, so what if she marries, too? Probably my own projected opinion. It takes her a long time to realize it doesn't matter if women can write.
I begin Fin's Revolution, then call my client for an inspection and payment. While waiting on him I read nearly a whole chapter.
I am tired. But... I've decided the mice must be eradicated. I've been hearing Livingston has a general store. General stores sound like a good place for mouse traps.
And tea spoons, pastel hand towels, a potholder, trash bags and needles.
The cashiers are sooo warm and welcoming. "You're first time here? We also have warm lunches. Sandwiches and soup."
"I am actually a little hungry. What kind of soup."
"Tomatoe and potatoe and one I can't remember-" she gets a phone call. But now I'm curious to know what this third one is. I know I'll want it.
Another woman comes to help me. "It's broccoli and cheese."
"Yummy! That's what I'd like."
"Do you like breaksticks? Good, it comes with. Do you have any children?"
"No, but I have eleven younger siblings."
"Oh! We have all these gifts we haven't been able to give away."
"Never heard of having too many gifts."
I then had to stop in at my sewing job for a quick errand, and ended up coming home with a time crunch alteration, a wool coat that needs the sleeves shortened three inches.
I'd said I might stay and do a couple hours but, "my siblings want me to see a movie with them. The Matrix?"
He geeks out. "You haven't seen the Matrix?"
He tells me how great it is, and I tell him how wonderful the little general store was.
Then I go to the thriftstore next door to pick up picture frames for my dad. It's a thriftstore so I also buy a linen dress, an outlet extension, and several books. A little girl helps me find the right size of frame, her mother is minding the register.
A gas stop frustrates me when I park on the wrong side of the pump. I really am stupid today. While my tank fills I empty my car of trash.
I arrive home with half an hour to spare. First I deliver the Christmas gifts to my siblings and I discuss some PFD (personal family drama) with my mom, then I head to my house and I lie on my tan couch and loose myself to an intricate, beautiful, terrifying nap. I dream snap shots of fears and duties and ecstasies. Somehow there's always hope. This is a dream. Life is life. Sleep is giving me life to dream better dreams.
Jesse wakes me, "We have to leave in five minutes."
I slip into a fresh jumper and grab things.
Jacob and Bekah Jo join us with piles of instruments. I beta read on the car ride over to our friends' home, we stop for chips, we talk about sibling stuff.
There is a young guy there I've never met. He says he's hosting a New Year's party and we should all announce our resolutions at midnight.
"What if my resolution is to be in bed before midnight?"
"That gonna be your resolution?"
"No. I'm already in bed before midnight."
"Well, there will be a quiet room."
"I'll be out of state anyway."
We play music and chat. I play many Christmas songs on the piano. We all fiddle on a large cello, and with violins. We sing and visit and laugh.
We eat white chili then somehow ton of people squish onto two couches. The movie begins.
"No talking during the film," the father announces.
We all laugh.
Then he says, "I want snacks!"
Lights go on, feet scramble for junk food. We all agree to not eat any sugar during January. Bekah Jo announces how she kinda wants to meet someone that looks like her but, "She can't live close to me or I might be jealous."
"You live with your family," I say.
The movie begins.
Part way in the screen goes black.
"He passed out," the father says.
Again. And again. "What sort of movie has a guy pass out so much, for so long?" I ask.
"That was a joke. The movie is having a hard time loading."
"Oh."
Jesse offers up his phone for a wifi hot spot, and we have no more issues. The movie is paused two times to offer explanations for us who have never seen the movie.
When I see the real world, I say "Who'd want to live there? I'd totally remain in the stimulation."
"Thanks for letting us know where you'd stand."
I loved the film. So many good quotes. You think a story has ended? Stories never end.
Stories never end. As someone who loves life, who loves writing about life I know also that because stories never end there are always magic and miracles awaiting.
But. Truth or happiness? I'm an anarchist. I choose both. Grab both pills and swallow them both before those fake people do their work. Maybe I'm missing context... maybe someone tried that. But who cares about context or what others have done.
Happiness and truth must be one. And reality is the most beautiful of choice.
I love the message of the Matrix. I do not love the portrayal of the message.
When the movie is over I gather my siblings and say Gute Macht.
Where are you going?
My bed is calling me. I must obey. All the same we visit a little longer. Jesse invites everyone to join us to see Spider-man on Sunday.
"Please!"
"No!"
"No. No. No. Fine."
Women always get what they want by asking over and over and over.
"The only thing that travels faster than light is gossip." - Matrix
Women transmit the two fastest things we see in reality.
Snow covered the roads while we left our world for some social stimuli. My brother drives slowly. I study Latin, my legs on the dash, my toes making designs on the frosty windshield, my hips dancing to the music my brother plays.
It's 11:53, we are two minutes away from home. Two things beckon me: my nightgown and my journal.
What if I am living in a fictitious world?
Thank you, robots, for Reality.
Gratitude over truth.
Happiness over vague freedom.
They had it wrong when they said, "Give me liberty or give me death."
Yeshua says, "I am the way, the truth, and the life."
It's life. It's truth and happiness.
This is part of a series requested by Melissa to share what my life looks the week leading up to Christmas.
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