Everyone goes through those times when they just have to face their thoughts: the ones they don't want to face.
And then they have to choose to be happy or not to be so.
Have you ever found the busier you are the happier? And then comes that stale moment. Your thoughts hit. Doubt enters. And you have no idea what to do.
Doubt is so easy to let in. So hard to rationalize away
At times you are too afraid to use logic against it. Why? Because doing so is opening yourself up for the options of hope. You become too optimistic. And that as often as not leads to hurt and pain and disappointment.
Those sort of thoughts.
The ones that try to drain you of all joy.
Even when GOOD THINGS are happening, I find myself constantly backing up - I can't just jump into anything. One minute I'm confident and happy. But the next?
The next I'm trying to brace myself for something that will most certainly happen - because good things just don't last, right? Too much happiness can only end in a lot of hurt..?
It's easy to suddenly be so scared and afraid. In fact some times it feels wrong to even hope or dream... or rather dangerous.
At least these sort of negative thoughts try to whisper their way through and into my soul.
But they don't have to be true.
Just as much as my good times don't define my happiness, neither do bad times mean it will disappear.
Joy is not ruled by circumstances, career, or friends. Joy is not ruled by the things that make me laugh. Joy is not defined by anything but my God.
It's from Him alone - so why do I worry?
Why am I afraid to be happy when I know that all things are just that - things? And in the end should not affect my perspective of happiness.
Why can't I just be thankful during the times He blesses me? Why must I worry about times that may never happen?
Worrying? It's just a way to blend both good and bad into misery.
It's never worth it.
It has no benefits, has no affect on the future except to ruin my present.
It's 100% draining and stressful. Completely unhealthy.
And for that reason I choose to recharge my joy through God. My Father and His son are who give me the strength to smile.
Everything else is just a small glimpse of what is real. Joy is not something I ever need worry about losing. It's something I need to grasp to and to encourage in others.
It can be a huge part of my life no matter the season God calls me to.