When Answers Create More Questions (And Other Thoughts)

When the answers you receive continue on this vicious cycle of creating more questions, it may be time to stop. 

Just stop asking.

Not every thing needs to be understood. We don't have to know everything, have all our ducks lined up, see the big picture.

It's OK to be in the dark. To let go. To trust with blind faith.

It's OK to be clueless.

When the advice you receive is so drastically different...some of it is wrong, some of it is clouded in mystery, and some of it might be right...and all the opposing people are smart and decent and trustworthy people...it might be good to know this:

Advice is the personal opinion of others based on their own perceptions of their own experiences and ideas. 

Past that, it really isn't much.

You listen to the advice, take what you need (not just what you like) and discard the rest.

Yes, it is OK to discard advice. Large amounts of advice.

Don't be afraid to take it and hear it. But remember: not all of it must be followed through.

Only you and God can truly understand your circumstances. Not all advice is really going to be beneficial. 

Don't worry...people may hate you. People may think you are being stupid.

You very well might be.

But that might be necessary (or you may just need to be more honest with what yourself, and what you are discarding).

When good people hate you and you don't know why and you want to hate yourself, remember this:

"I don't even know me that well."

How could someone else possibly define me that well?

How could someone else possibly tell me all that's wrong with me? Especially after such a short time?

I've known me for years and I'm still figuring things out.

No other human gets to define who or what I am, what I believe, or where my heart and motivations lie.

When you respect and trust another person to such a level of seeing mostly good in them, it can be hard to see the fault in their words.

Even when that fault is obvious.

Even when you know it's not true.

Even when you know that you aren't what they are saying, when you love what they just said you hated and you hate what they insinuated you love.

There comes a time when you must remove your trust from a person, with out loosing respect for them or yourself.

Never stop respecting.

Otherwise you will end up hating everyone.

 But it's OK to stop believing another's words.

When it's hard to be strong and smile, remember:

We aren't meant to be Superman or Wonder Woman.

Tears are OK.

Being a brick isn't.

Being hateful is wrong.

Being void of human emotions is not healthy.

Be weak. Cry. Hurt.

And then heal. Love. And smile.

It is possible to smile as you hurt and crumble and let your guard down.

It is possible to do what's right and laugh and love even when you are weak.

When life changes, taking a sharp turn, God didn't change his mind.

His plan is just bigger than what we imagined.

And it involves ugly, painful thorns in the shape of heartache, betrayal, lies, uncertainty, hypocrisy, misunderstandings, and evil. 

God's ways aren't smooth, happy-go-lucky cloudless rainbows. 

They very much involve growing pain.

Stretching, shaping, severing.

God's ways are best.

And he doesn't change His mind, saying yes then no.

We just have a hard time listening to him amidst our own bouts of self-joy or depression.

His paths are much more complicated and intricate than mere yes's and no's.

So, listen.

Have faith:

 entrust your desires and questions to Him and let Him settle the answers in His own timing. Let Him lead your feet, direct which words you hear and listen to. Allow God's words to matter and define your life - not any friend's. Lean on God's everlasting strength - follow Him and smile as He comforts you. 

Know that God will lead you toward the best life full of His mighty ways if you but follow and trust Him.