Skip to main content

Irresolutions





Last year I was tired of the me I was.

So I set resolutions. Just like every other year.

I was going to be better. I was going to love more. I was going to be different... no more old, nasty me.

Beautiful.
Perfect.
Caring. 
Kind.

I was going to chase all my wildest dreams. No fear was allowed to hold me back.

I was going to travel to new places. 

I was going to experience new, exciting things. 

Lose all that weight. Eat completely healthy. Read my Bible five times a day. Pray every second. Be a friend to everyone. Find true love. Give to twenty missions.

It was also the year I was going to take the most selfies, posted with false quotes to inspire millions!!!! #Selfielover


I was going to become the me I've always wanted to be.


And, so what happened???


I succeeded!!!! 


Guys, I'm now perfect!!!!!!!!!!


I can now be proud of the me I am.

I accomplished all my New Year Resolutions for 2017. And, boy, do I feel wonderful... except what do I do this year around?

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, standing and outdoorI'm so perfect I can't make any more resolutions. ;/

I mean... what can I change about me, now?

A whole year of work... and now I'm stuck in perfection. Forever.

It's actually a depressing thought. Except I don't get depressed anymore.

Well, after much thought I have finally realized what I must do.

I must take a regress year.

It's not right to be this perfect, to have no room left to resolve me. So, I will back slide a little. 

I'll be a little less kind. 

A little less me.

That way in 2019 I'll have something to work toward again! 

2018 is my irresolution year!!!

I'm so happy :) Maybe you'd like to join me, if you too met all your resolutions? 

Here's to irresolutions! 


I do hope that you caught on that this is satire. My regular post is still scheduled for Wednesday! Can't wait to see you all then :D 

Here are some other posts I wrote for previous New Years:

Comments

  1. Ok though this one made me laugh Keturah xD

    ReplyDelete
  2. THIS IS THE BEST! AND SO TRUE, TBH!!!! XD

    ReplyDelete
  3. First off, your blog and you are absolutely awesome, Keturah!!!

    Second, this post is so great!!!!!!!! :D :D

    ReplyDelete
  4. It took me a second to catch on, but I got the satire!! NICE <3

    Catherine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My satire tends to be very serious ;0 Thanks :D

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. I seem to have that affect on people often 😂

      Delete
  6. Haha, nice! I thought you were going to head the opposite way (that you hadn't achieved and that was okay), but once I caught on to the satire, I chuckled to myself the whole post through. Gotta love your humor. ;)


    Alexa
    thessalexa.blogspot.com
    verbosityreviews.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol... I actually achieved a lot last year 😂😂 I’m definitely for productivity... which is why I’m against resolutions 🤪 Thanks!! Love sharing my humor 🙃😁

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Living Like The Amish: Interviews With Three "English" Families PART I

Many people are obsessed with the Amish. I know at one time I was as well, and to a degree I still am. But my perception  has changed with experience. It started a long time ago when my family went to an Amish-held auction (no, it's not a place where you can buy Amish children, but a place where you can buy things from the Amish). I was eleven years old and enthralled to be surrounded by so many Amish. I loved the cockscomb flowers they sold everywhere. I bought a whole box for $2 and dried them for seeds so I could plant my own. But then I experienced my first reality shock concerning the Amish. I had assumed since they lived a simpler life everything about them was completely old-fashioned and natural. Imagine my horror when I saw Amish walking around with soda cans and store-bought ice cream. " Mom ," I said. "He's drinking soda!"  Left to right, back row: Jonny, Jonathan (Dad). Front row: Jacob, Keturah, Rebekah (Mom), Jonah (on Mom's

How Bad Can I Be?: Lyrics That Make You Go "Wow!"

How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just following my destiny How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How ba-a-a-ad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? Well, there's a principal of nature (principal of nature) That almost every creature knows Called survival of the fittest (survival of the fittest) And check it this is how it goes The animal that is has got to scratch and bite and claw and bite and punch And the animal that doesn't (well the animal that doesn't) winds up Someone else's lu-lu-lu-lu-unch! (I'm just saying') How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just following my destiny How ba-a-a-ad can I be? I'm just doin' what comes naturally How ba-a-a-ad can I be? How bad can I possibly be? Well, there's a principal of business (principal of b

Peace During Patience

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” - Philippians 4:6 My family and I were sitting around the breakfast table several months ago. Mom had just read this verse. One of the kids laughed incredulously, “What is it saying? Be careful for nothing – live recklessly?” “No,” I answered quickly. My tone was very matter-of-fact, blunt, as if I were all-knowing. “It means do not worry.” The kids all nodded among themselves and life continued on for them. But for me life paused at my words. I had heard this verse soooooooo many times. I had always known what it meant. But now? Now it really meant something . “Do not worry.” This path I've chosen. I can not see it. I can not feel it. I do not know where I am. I have chosen to follow God, and no other. But why did He hide the light from my eyes? I must take a step forward. But I do not want to. How long w

Inside The Land Of The Free

Hello. My name is Greg.  I have a lot of time to think. Too much time. Sometimes I think about my life - why I am sitting in prison. I wonder what I could have done different - my life plays before my eyes. "If only..." But even I know that no amount of good works would have stopped tyranny from finding fault with me. It is cold. My clothes are thin. My stomach is empty - occasionally filled with food of no sustenance.  I hide my face in my knees - as if that will somehow protect me from the horrors of this dark cold dungeon.  They keep it cold to freeze me, this I know. It is a part of their game - to drive a lesson into me. As if I have a lesson to learn solely because I was convicted. Convicted, but not  guilty. Years.  68 years for standing against injustice. How many years have I sat in here? I have forgot. All I know is this question, "Was I fated for this? Did God grant my birth