I am so tired. I am so tired of saying life is fine . I am so tired of trying to be strong and mature and wise . I just want to cry, I just want someone to truly see me and try and understand and not turn away when they see who I really am. I am tired of smiling and pretending things are OK. Nothing is alright. I am not evil – or am I? Certain people make me feel so evil. So worthless. I want to lead a life that is honorable toward God and others. I don't want to live for me EVER. I don't want to understand myself more, I want to understand others. But there comes a point when I can just no longer do it. My trying only ends in hurt. I can't understand. No one else can understand. Everything I believe, everything I work for - it all gets muddied with misunderstanding and hurt and lies. I am not strong. I am weak . I am not mature. I am uncertain. I am scared, not confident that things will work out fo...