The Social Porcupine

  I haven't worn a mask since  . . . when did COVID start?  * * *  I didn't really mean to not wear one, to be honest. This summer I was applying for a job at TacoBell and thought I might have to go ahead and wear the thing. Life had other plans, I suppose. And then came pride. I remember being weirded out when I first saw people wearing them. I was shocked, humored, slightly scared.  The day before Trump announced he'd be banning international travel, I was laughing with my au pair family about whether or not this virus thing was worth worrying about.  "I don't think so many people could be that stupid," I'd said. "Just in case," my au pair mother said. "I'll buy some groceries." She asked me to come along and bought me a dirndl. I told her I thought I might like somebody. If I married him would she come to my wedding? She laughed. I'd been living with her for four months and hadn't mentioned the guy once. And we had bigger...

Girls hiking in their skirts with their guns = exercised feminine rights  I used to hate hiking. But then I used to hate a lot of things. I had been wanting to see Alexa's baby (Alexa is the girl on the far left) and I hadn't actually yet met Keziah (the third girl to the right). I really needed a break from writing and cleaning, and for me that means hanging out with friends. But I don't really like shopping (spending money is stressful, y'all) and I like to be active. So I decided to kill three birds with a stone — I planned a girls' hike up near where Alexa and Keziah lived so I could meet Alexa's baby and meet Keziah. Best "mutli-tasking" idea I've ever had! We had a fabulous Sabbath ( most of us keep Saturday sabbath ) of hiking, fellowship, and fun! When I finally went home I was refreshed and inspired. Great conversations had happened. We encouraged each other, discussed what was on our hearts, and grew. It's hard to expla...

Everyone goes through those times when they just have to face their thoughts: the ones they don't want to face. And then they have to choose to be happy or not to be so. Have you ever found the busier you are the happier? And then comes that stale moment. Your thoughts hit. Doubt enters. And you have no idea what to do. Doubt is so easy to let in. So hard to rationalize away At times you are too afraid to use logic against it. Why ? Because doing so is opening yourself up for the options of hope. You become too optimistic. And that as often as not leads to hurt and pain and disappointment. Ah, yes. Those sort of thoughts. The ones that try to drain you of all joy. Even when GOOD THINGS are happening, I find myself constantly backing up - I can't just jump into anything. One minute I'm confident and happy. But the next? The next I'm trying to brace myself for something that will most certainly happen - because good things just don...

Early November I went to Tennessee to volunteer for Above Rubies for my second time. I was only planning on staying a month and half, but as life has it, plans changed numerous times so that I ended up staying over six months! Back with family .... ..and friends. I just arrived back home about two weeks ago. In some ways I feel like I'm home... But then  other times I still find myself thinking of TN and everyone there. Six months is a long time. A lot can happen in six months. One of my friends married. Another had a baby. Another entered a relationship. Friendships went through rough times. Many were strengthened. I learned a lot about life and people in general during my time there. I learned life skills, people skills, conversational skills. I had troubles and trials during my time there. Some involved others, while some did not. Either way I learned a lot even during those times. In some ways I...

Another mountain climbed. Another valley crossed. They turned over another cornerstone, opened a new page. They have done much in life. "God, why am I the only christian that had made neither progress in my walk with you, and with the destiny of my life? Am I lukewarm? Neither hot nor cold?" Before me. Behind me. It's the same. It stretches for miles and miles. I continue to move, but the scenery stays the same. An unending prairie - in front and behind. Dull. Lifeless. Void of anything different. Yet, I continue to go. My path is too easy to walk. Yet I find this in itself too hard. Because when something is hard, when it has texture it is easier to keep going. It must also be easier to forget that they even have to walk, and in a way one could enjoy the hardships, because it adds color to life. Their mountains and valleys show progress. All around me, my friends join me on my path for a short while, before heading back to their mountains. I hear...