Firsts are sweet. My memories are full of firsts: My first baby doll. My first sister. My first time seeing my mom's parents. My first entertainment park. My first best friend. My first time leaving home. My first time feeling like I was in love. But firsts can also be hard: The first time your friend says they hate you. Your first breakup. When the world first seems dark and threatening and suffocating. The first time you feel like you really hate someone. The first time you wish that you don't belong anywhere. Firsts aren't always sweet. Sometimes they are miserable and you want to forget them forever by creating new firsts. I've come to see that most of us are trying to forget a ruined first by pursuing the thrills of firsts Visiting a new country. Meeting someone of another ethnicity. Hiking three days in the wilderness. Riding a bus...