The Social Porcupine

The family I'm staying with don't attend a church, so after coming here I needed to decide whether or not I would attend. I mean, it's a give in I'd find a church (or church-hop). But would I go to a church that had German services, or one with English services?  There aren't all that many English speaking churches in Stuttgart, but I decided it would be nicer at first to be able to understand the services and worship.  On the first Sunday here, though, I could barely make myself walk around the block. The idea of jumping on a tram and finding my way to some church was just too terrifying.  I stayed at the house, biked for my first time with the family here, and just grew more at ease with my surroundings. The next week I spread out a little more, and felt confident enough to go anywhere I wanted on foot or bike.  But close to the end of the week, I began to question my sanity.  "Why did I come to Germany?"  I can walk and write ...

This month is something I've been looking forward to for a long time. And dreading. Truth be told, going outside your comfort zone, no matter how confident you are, is nervewracking. I have had a lot of people worry about my sanity for choosing to come to Germany. Many family members texted me the whole way over and have continued to text me often while here. I'm pretty sure they will be holding their breath for six months straight until I return home. As long as they don't turn blue, I don't mind people waiting on me ;p People asked me, "Are you excited or nervous to be going to Germany?" I honestly answered them, "I don’t know. I really haven’t had time for either." You see, I have finally come to the place where I love my  life. Part of me was actually starting to question my own sanity. "Do I really want to go to Germany?" One of my friends told me I was having traveler's remorse. It may have been partly that, or ...

Fear, My once close-friend and ever-near companion. I let fear linger on after the lights dimmed; It chased away both my sleep and my dreams. I let fear control me in the name of caution, And it won. I trusted my fears over God's words. I let fear rule my reality. Loss, It happens to all of us. But maybe to those who fear the most? But why does it always seem unique to me? Why is my loss harder to bear? Why can't I find the breath to smile? Emotions, Empty feelings are still emotions. I've tried to kill them, to pretend I didn't feel them. But empty feelings are dark, alone, depressed. They are worse than feelings. To ignore my tears is to not find hope. It's OK to grieve. It's OK to want to scream. It's OK to heal, to learn to smile again. It's OK to cry every night; For a little while, I'll shed my tears. Healing, It happens eventually, if I'll allow it inside my heart. Healing is a choice to forgive the past; ...

Sleep away your fears My darling.  Let your brain rest free: Light's dimming.  Forget that you care, Darling, smile. Forget the nightmare For awhile. Sleep; let your eyes dry. Time to rest. Tell your pain to fly. Just forget. Darling, sleep is calling ~ Close your eyes. Sleep is comforting ~ Restful lies.  For a night it's OK. Sleep and smile. 'Til the morning day Comes to strike. ~ KAL I used to write a lot of poetry. I rarely share of any of it, as it tends to be personal. But this I felt like sharing ;) Sometimes you are just so tired of life, and remembering, that all you want to do is sleep.  But it can be hard to sleep when the world feels dark :) And that's when you just have to remind yourself how to forget.  I hope you enjoy this poem I wrote this summer! It says I won first place at a county fair... but I didn't have any competition. Prize was like $3? I think ;D  I event...

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” - Philippians 4:6 My family and I were sitting around the breakfast table several months ago. Mom had just read this verse. One of the kids laughed incredulously, “What is it saying? Be careful for nothing – live recklessly?” “No,” I answered quickly. My tone was very matter-of-fact, blunt, as if I were all-knowing. “It means do not worry.” The kids all nodded among themselves and life continued on for them. But for me life paused at my words. I had heard this verse soooooooo many times. I had always known what it meant. But now? Now it really meant something . “Do not worry.” This path I've chosen. I can not see it. I can not feel it. I do not know where I am. I have chosen to follow God, and no other. But why did He hide the light from my eyes? I must take a step forward. But I do not want to. How long w...

If we look at examples in the Bible, circumstances never stopped God's people from multiplying and becoming a mighty people. In slavery and captivity (Exodus 1:7-12), in foreign lands (Jeremiah 29:4-6), during famine (Genesis 47:27), the command was still the same: "Be fruitful and multiply," Genesis 1:28. Why was this? Could it be that our mindset of needing a perfect atmosphere for children be harmful? If the world is falling apart don't we need something to build it up? What we really need is to have MANY children so that they rise and do what a few of us can not - change the world . I know many of my readers aren't even married yet, but never-the-less this is an important issue that each individual should be decided on before they get into a relationship. Especially if you are a Christian. It is for the cause of Yeshua (Jesus) that we want to prosper and grow. And the most efficient way of doing so is following God's plan (if you marry) t...