The Social Porcupine

I don't feel boredom. I'm recovering from an addiction to anxiety (so I've been drawing faces onto my toes) After a steady workaholic season I decided it was time to get on the road again. This time indefinitely and with less structure than before. I basically won't come home until I've danced in Tennessee, and hopefully l'll return with twenty-five feet of tatted lace.  I will most likely stay on the road longer than that. I need to learn to hold onto something (faith). And I need to prepare myself for some big changes.  My first destination was a family reunion in Oklahoma. But first I organized a hike with a random assortment of Colorado friends (they did not know each other).  We did a lot of car camping and caravanning for the weekend there. We tried to visit a small cult I love, but that didn't work out. I found a beautiful café and saw googly eyes on construction cones. But this lower picture is from some bathroom in Co...

Everyone goes through those times when they just have to face their thoughts: the ones they don't want to face. And then they have to choose to be happy or not to be so. Have you ever found the busier you are the happier? And then comes that stale moment. Your thoughts hit. Doubt enters. And you have no idea what to do. Doubt is so easy to let in. So hard to rationalize away At times you are too afraid to use logic against it. Why ? Because doing so is opening yourself up for the options of hope. You become too optimistic. And that as often as not leads to hurt and pain and disappointment. Ah, yes. Those sort of thoughts. The ones that try to drain you of all joy. Even when GOOD THINGS are happening, I find myself constantly backing up - I can't just jump into anything. One minute I'm confident and happy. But the next? The next I'm trying to brace myself for something that will most certainly happen - because good things just don...