The Social Porcupine

Whoever thought that the girl who scoffed at hiatus and deleting social media would be writing a post like this? And yet here I am.  I'm just so very depleted, mostly emotionally. This summer has been one of the best of my life—then why have I shed so many tears? Hope has been very real, probably when it shouldn't have been so. Dreams and pursuits have had very little attention. My father's campaign has taken a lot out of me. Church hopping has been very hard, even while amazing. Door knocking has been harder yet . . . Though there have been many bright, joyful conversations. I talk about how I don't like denominations and political parties. This summer has shown me fully why. Even more, it's shown me the good on every side as I listened to other people share their perspectives. Some of my reasoning is personal. But it all boils down to this: I'm so very, very tired, and there's too much energy put into running online platforms. I just can't do it. I...

//What, How, Why, Who, and Where// What is up and down, but life  going through moods that matter  nothing once they are through?  🌸🍃🌸  How might I abound, but strife  release its horrid clatter  o'er my every move?  🌸🍃🌸  Why is my ev'ry sound, but rife  with pointless, mundane chatter  designed for naught anew?  🌸🍃🌸  Who am I to amount, but fife  through this unwanted platter  painted only to behoove?  🌸🍃🌸  Where's my final mound?  But life  remains in a ruined shatter  with my torn roots askew? //More Than Myself// I am a thread in a quilt,  Clinging to the unraveled fibers around me.  They say, "Pull free, be your own thread!"  🌳🌼🌳  Though I break, I will not split  For though faded, those shredding threads are what ground me;  And without seams, I'd be dead.  🍃🥀🍃  I have roots, spread far and wide  Under soil malnourished and s...

Rules of this tag:  1. Link back to the person who tagged you. I hate tags, but since I have to ... thanks, Doorman ! 2. Include the graphic. 3. Answer the questions. 4. Tag three other people. 1. Dust Bunnies and Plot Bunnies: Reorganize Your Writing Goals (Or Make New Ones) Ever since I've become serious about my writing, I'm currently in the weirdest place ever. From writing hours every day and telling everyone, "Just write a bit every day" to being like ... I could write, but I'm not writing. And so, maybe this tag is good for me. In the back of my mind, I know what I need and want. But I need to remind myself. And what better way to do it than to do so publicly? So, my goals are centered around the six months of me being in Germany: Give myself a small writing, break, not because I need it, but because I don't want to have to need it. I do not go brain dead learning German.  But always keep in the back of my mind my next two novels, Mor...

Fear, My once close-friend and ever-near companion. I let fear linger on after the lights dimmed; It chased away both my sleep and my dreams. I let fear control me in the name of caution, And it won. I trusted my fears over God's words. I let fear rule my reality. Loss, It happens to all of us. But maybe to those who fear the most? But why does it always seem unique to me? Why is my loss harder to bear? Why can't I find the breath to smile? Emotions, Empty feelings are still emotions. I've tried to kill them, to pretend I didn't feel them. But empty feelings are dark, alone, depressed. They are worse than feelings. To ignore my tears is to not find hope. It's OK to grieve. It's OK to want to scream. It's OK to heal, to learn to smile again. It's OK to cry every night; For a little while, I'll shed my tears. Healing, It happens eventually, if I'll allow it inside my heart. Healing is a choice to forgive the past; ...