The Social Porcupine

My readers, acquaintances, and stalkers see the things I accomplish. I, alongside the comfort of my own shadow, know of my distractions and my tendency to focus on the wrong tasks, always a little behind on the priorities, or rather prioritizing things in a haphazard manner.  Some see me as  competitive. Today I make a confession. I am not competitive. I do not do things to compete. I don't bother with comparing myself to others; I have little envy for another's life. I am happy and content, and while someone might inspire me, that inspiration does not lead me toward lust but growth .  Years ago, some strange soul that knew me quite well rightly judged me as having no ambition. To this person  that  was a taboo personality defect in myself.  For a time, I cared. I tried out ambition... and found myself reverting to the old, simple delights of my life. Sure, there is a dedication to my work that appears jarringly like competition. . . but appearances, as we ...

I've experienced responsibility much as Jonathan Button experienced age: rather opposite of most people, with an awfully lot at a young age and quite a bit less of it the older I've gotten. I'm turning into quite the gypsy, keeping my conservative appearances mostly because I like it. Some, mostly staunch conservative Christians have an issue with this. Why, I wonder, when it is they who sing old hymns such as  Wayfaring Stranger  and keep a copy of The Pilgrim's Progress next to their Bible.  They chide me on my wild ways, "You must have a home church. "  But this world is not my home. I am not meant to sit still, or to wait at home for the coming of some man or of the Messiah. We are all meant to be as children: wild and loud and happy. I should be able to pick my own flowers, thank you very much, without being accused of feminism.  I sometimes find churches to attend while traveling. Looking back on them I feel as if I experienced the same so...

I dreamt my tooth was loose.  I've dreamed such dreams throughout much of my life. So far I've always awoken relieved to find my teeth still firmly rooted in my mouth.  But this dream was different. Only one tooth was about to fall out, and it was one of my front side teeth. When I smiled it showed.  What follows is almost funny.  You know how fingers always want to touch and wriggle things they ought not to? It was all I could do to keep my fingers out of my mouth. I would not help this tooth come free. In fact, I would pretend it was alright. And then it would be. I couldn't lose it. I needed it. Maybe if I needed it enough, it would be fine...  No such luck. It fell out.  I thought, "Maybe I can put it back in!"  But it broke into many chunks, larger than the tooth ever could have been.  I panicked. I would not be able to live if I could not smile. How could anyone? One had to smile. They would die without happiness, wouldn't they?  I held...

It's my twenty-third birthday today.  I've decided to write something less angsty than my posts from previous years.  (I mean, I'm not that angsty anymore, so yeah) Dreams are meant to be learned and lived, not kept inside your head What do you want? This question has always haunted me, especially when my brain isn't busy doing. Sometimes I'll answer myself. Normally I laugh at myself and start doing something again. What do I want? I want to live life. So, that's what I do. Who needs to know all the finer details? They get ironed out after time if you keep going forward. It's good to have goals (I have lots of those). But some desires are only fulfilled by not thinking and simply living fully. Who are you? I am Keturah, and that's defined by both what I do and think. And all of that has its bitter and sweet moments, sometimes at once. Mostly I laugh at the identity question. For a time it did bother me because society said I must know. B...

I would so love to see my books on store shelves someday. It would be amazing if I had fans that raved about my stories and ranted in ways I'd never do (because I'm very calm, for the most part). And if they did this in public. I'd be happy, even approve, of such unacceptable behavior. Call me a hypocrite, I don't care ;) Of course, my ultimate goal is to just write a story that touches others. Money and popularity are NOT the reason I write.  But dreams can go beyond goals, yes?  IF I EVER BECOME A BESTSELLING AUTHOR I WON'T . . .  . . . believe it. How could I? My stories aren't near good enough . . . are they!? Is it the glasses, or am I just bad at dramatic selfies? ;D  . . . buy a brand new sports car. Because that's just a waste of money. Practical and cheap will still work very well for me. Love my Volvo ;D  . . . quit cleaning houses. Now I might clean less. But I don't think I could ever stop completely...

Yes, I'm twenty-one.  Yes, I don't really play with toys anymore. Yes, I'm crazy. Are you surprised???  I have like the most amazing story ever to tell. It involves that doll selfie you see up above. You see I really like selfies... that's actually not the point of this post, HAHA. Anyways, for as along as I can remember I always wanted an American Girl doll. We'd get all the catalogs, and I'd devour every single picture until the next catalog came in. I wanted one of the dolls so bad. Felicity and Josefina were my favorites, but I also liked the doll of the current girl of the year (I can't remember which one she was anymore) . I finally decided I wanted an American Girl doll so badly I'd save for one and buy her. I was nine years old when my dad took the money to the bank. I was so excited! I finally had enough money, I was finally going to get the doll of my dreams. But that very day my aunt called to tell my mom something she had j...