The Social Porcupine

Happy 2020. It's a new year. And while this excites some, many of you are depressed. You may believe your life is going nowhere. Whether that's true or not. You believe you have no dreams, or none worth working toward. Your thoughts are full of envy. You despise that person who you think pretends to have a perfect life because all of her photos sparkle with a smile. Envy grows bigger daily at every friend that announces an engagement or job success—so much that you hate them and inwardly accuse them of having it all and not understanding YOU. You are jealous of every person you see who has a child, a house, or something you don't have. You envy others so much that you hate yourself. The person you dreamed of being ... the you that you IDOLIZED is far from what you wish. And so you may decide to punish yourself. "I'm deleting my facebook." In the name of needing a break from drama. "I will never eat sugar again." "I will never r...

Was 2019 a good year?  It had its awful moments.  Was it a spectacular year?  It definitely had some amazing memories.  And yet, I find myself looking back over this last year, asking myself, how well did I live 2019?  Was it perfect, or a waste of my life? Or something in between?  There were many times where I thought I'd for sure lose several different friends. There were several times where I just about decided to move out on my own. There were times where I had decided that. There were times I loved America, and times I wanted to go to some other country. There were times that I loved Germany, and times that I missed America so much.  I saw old friends. I made new friends.  There were times where I thought I knew my future.  And then something happened to change it and I thought, "Oh, no. That is my future." And then something else happened to change it altogether so that I was back to a blank p...