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Using Etiquette when Arguing

One of my great weaknesses is arguing. Sometimes I can hold my tongue. But a lot of the time...

It's just that when people say such "stupid, false" things or when people or ideas are "unfairly mistreated" I MUST stand up for them.

And sometimes I just look for something to argue/discuss about. :D It's just so fun. :)

So, yeah.

It has gotten me in trouble, but I've learned for the most part that I feel better if I speak my mind and what I believe is the truth and I can even have fun if I do it right :D

I have done a lot of arguing with friends ;) Everyone knows that. And normally it's more of a sport than a fight. Like anything, stuff CAN get nasty.

Thinking about it recently, I realized that when I do argue, my friends and I follow certain unspoken rules.

I'm calling these the "Etiquette Rules of Arguing."

1. It's ok to argue :D Get excited, get into it!

2. Speak your mind.

3. Never use insults in the place of logic. Never call names.

4. Listen to what the other has to say.

5. Be prepared to stand up for what you believe in and be ready to defend it.

6. Be ready to give in if you are wrong.

7. Dignity is ok, but don't be stuck-up or prideful.

8. Compliment the other person if they say something clever.

9. Laugh, but don't do it in a condescending way. Sarcasm is ok as long as you aren't making fun of the person.

10. Remember, you are arguing ideas, not each other. Don't take offense and don't offend.

11. Follow the Golden rule :) What comes around DOES go around when arguing.

One thing that does not help when arguing is pride.

Everyone has it to a degree, but sometimes I think no-one has as much of it as my family does. I mean with a last name like Lamb, who wouldn't? ;)

It's like we think we are the chosen people, Yahweh's lambs, so we are right in everything.

But something my brother said the other day was really good. "As Lambs we aren't suppose to all be the Shepherd, but followers of Yahweh."

Matthew 23:8 "But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren."

Arguing can become a very tricky art. If you aren't careful you will make enemies. It is always important that you give in sometimes and make the other person feel good.

Let go of your pride if its standing in the way - of course we should have just enough pride to hold on to what is TRULY right, but never allow ourselves to become self-righteous by it.

Arguing IS NOT about putting yourself above others.

It's about getting to know others in a fun way :).


  1. Ha!!! Brings back so many memories of us... :)

  2. We likes arguing, doesn't we Precious?!!! ;)

  3. Awesome post! I certainly enjoy a good argument every once in a while, but it's definitely the sort of thing that can get out of hand if you're doing it wrong, lol. You gave some great tips, though, especially the ones about complimenting other people when they're right or say something funny and listening to what the other person has to say. It really shows that you don't think you're above them (few things are more annoying :p) and that you're actually trying to debate rather than automatically disregarding the other person's opinion


  4. I think that you very right, in many ways.
    But, "Do not contend with a man for no reason, when he has done you no harm." Proverbs 3:30
    And, "Remind them of these things, and charge them before God not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers." 2 Timothy 2:14.
    And also, "Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." 2 Timothy 2:22-24
    We aren't SUPPOSE to be quarrelsome. Right? What do you say?
    Dunno. But... God said it, I believe it, that settles it.
    I'm NOT trying to start an argument in this, rather, wondering what you think about what the Bible say about it.

    1. I guess I doo believe we should speak the truth ( like you just did ) and a lot of the times it will start an argument.

      Also there are many christian debaters that argue with atheists / evolutionists and if it weren't for them defending the truth many wouldnt ever know the truth.

      So we shouldn't argue in hatred, but sometimes it is important to reinforce what you believe but do that in love.

      And sometimes a friendly argument can be fun ;)

  5. I was a homeschool debate competitor for five years in the NCFCA. I'm well acquainted with the idea of healthy arguing. I think that it's important for Christians to learn how to defend what they believe — respect is the key virtue. Debate (healthy argumentation) is needed within the church to determine upright doctrine and also outside to speak the truth in love and grace. With a heart of humility, much can be done for the Kingdom of God.

    Best wishes! You have a lovely blog!

    Ciera @ The Write Things

    1. That is very interesting!!!! And thank you for commenting! :)


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