Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Craving Rest

My mind is so full right now.

My life is so busy.

I feel overwhelmed by nothing in particular and everything at once.

Yet I can't stop from doing. From not sleeping.

Exhaustion is my addiction.

To rest is not an option. Or so it seems.

And I keep looking for more… more?

More of what?

Why do I crave chaos? Why do I laugh in my stress? Why can't I cry, even though my eyes are heavy?

Life and all it's mysteries.

Right now they make too much sense, yet are even more distant than ever before.

I keep feeling like I am not doing enough.

I need to make every breath count.

But is just breathing enough? Must I constantly gasp for air? Is it okay to just live every now and then?

My life is crazy. Yet I love it.

My mind yearns to stretch out more. Every muscle in me, physical and mental, demand to hurt every second.

And then I see color.

Life stops - no pauses - for a second. I breath in the warm sunshine.

“Ah.”

Now that was a breath worth taking.

I smile. I see someone, and smile bigger. They, too, smile.

That was something worth doing.

I suddenly can fall down, and do nothing. I am not laughing in stress. I am not reaching out to do. I am just sitting, thinking.

And then the tears can fall.
This is what my life needs. This is what makes the rest possible – these small moments of peaceful tears.

This doesn't really mean anything. I just sat down (tired) one night a couple months ago and wrote this. My mind does that sometimes when I can't sleep but should - comes up with weirdness that could almost be on the verge of soul-beautiful.
I hope you enjoy this just a little ;) 

2 comments:

Looking for encouragement, entertainment, edification? Then you've come to the right blog! Leave a comment and I'll reply - I love the interaction with my readers. Y'all give me the boost to write the next post (I'm one of those weird extroverted writers). Without readers you can't have writers! Enjoy today; smile! ;D

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