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What Do You REALLY Want?

Happy 2020.

It's a new year. And while this excites some, many of you are depressed.

You may believe your life is going nowhere. Whether that's true or not.

You believe you have no dreams, or none worth working toward.

Your thoughts are full of envy.
You despise that person who you think pretends to have a perfect life because all of her photos sparkle with a smile. Envy grows bigger daily at every friend that announces an engagement or job success—so much that you hate them and inwardly accuse them of having it all and not understanding YOU.

You are jealous of every person you see who has a child, a house, or something you don't have. You envy others so much that you hate yourself. The person you dreamed of being ... the you that you IDOLIZED is far from what you wish.

And so you may decide to punish yourself. "I'm deleting my facebook." In the name of needing a break from drama.

"I will never eat sugar again."
"I will never read a romance again."
"I will have happy thoughts."
"I will ... "

But you say none of this out of love for who you might be, but out of hate for what you are. 

"I'm going to change myself." Forgetting to do the one thing God asked of us ... love Him and others above all.

Inward change can never happen until we acknowledge all that's wrong outwardly. 

We can never love ourselves appropiatly until we've learned to love God and man first. We will never be happy with our own successes and loves until we are thrilled with another's. We will never be happy with our own life until we appreciate everything and EVERYONE around us.

See that dazzling photo? There's nothing wrong with liking it. Don't over analyze the person posting as if he's some liar. It's art, not a complete portrayal of that person's hardships and joys.

You're still single and your best friend just whispered in your ear that she's had her first kiss? Forget yourself and rejoice with her. This is her moment, not yours.

If every person around you is "toxic", or Facebook is packed full of negativity, ask yourself if maybe it's you. A figment of your perception, or what you allowed to grow around you? If so, will cutting others or things out of your life really solve your issues? Or is there a deeper toxicity that first needs cleansed from your heart and mind? 

Be thankful for what is yours, weep with those that grieve, laugh at the humor, be joyous in the celebrations, and judge only that which God asks of you, remembering to do all this in upright love.

And remember, just because perfect lives don't exist doesn't mean you can't be satisfied with your lot. Just because every other person you know seems to have it all doesn't give you excuse to slump back in defeat and shout, "It's unfair."

Life isn't meant to be fair.
Fair isn't a promise nor a goal toward for those who truly desire fulfillment.

Those who have the most fulfilled lives realize this and fight against the storm and carry others up with them, finding a rainbow where few thought it could exist, then sharing that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow with every other suffering soul.

Successful people never remain on the ground shouting at those who've risen above the clouds into heaven, "You don't live in reality."

They make reality a place they can bear. And they share that forbearance with others.

If I can challenge you all this year, it would be to not delete people, food, facebook, or anything. Maybe replace some things with better things and choose healthier options with your time and food and friends. But don't make resolutions you won't follow through with.

Instead, stop thinking of yourself and start seeing others. And maybe, you'll find you have just what you want: peace.

What do you really want out of 2020?
I want to see people wake up out of their self-centered comas and see the beautiful life God meant for us to live. I want to be one of those people, and I want to also help others on this journey. I want us to thrive together and not hide from each other in fear of offending.
In France with some of my Au Pair family for the holidays. 


  1. Thank you for this.

    Thank you.


  2. Keturah. Oh my goodness. This post was EXACTLY what I needed today, your words are always so impactful! Thank you for writing this <333

  3. This is true! I will remember this, thank you!!! <3 I've had struggles with this, but I will overcome.

    (You went to France?? Whoa!!)

    1. I so love how you day you'll overcome it. You go!

      (Yes! Post on it coming out in February)

  4. This is beautiful and such an important reminder. <33

  5. So true!

  6. SO beautiful and true, Keturah. What a wonderful outlook on life you have, girl! Thank you for your joy.

    Also. The Eiffel Tower! *heart eyes*

    1. Thanks, Megan. It's an acquired outlook that takes guarding. Or maybe it's an outlook many of us have had as children and must remember and find again;)

      Wait until you see the other pictures I have of it!

  7. Such a thoughtful post! Hope your enjoying France!

  8. Thanks for this Keturah, it was something i really needed :) <3

  9. Such a beautiful, perfect post! I don't even know what else to say, just thank you for writing this! It's something I think just about everyone in modern society needs to read on the regular. :)


    1. Ah thanks Alexa! I kinda agree, thus I wrote it 😆😂


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