My Boundaries

"Know your boundaries." 

Boundaries. What are they? An invisible barricade around my persona? Some sacred bubble that must not be encroached upon?

"I don't think I really believe in having boundaries." I confessed to a friend. "Or maybe I just disagree with the modern philosophy of boundaries." 

"Eh, I don't think anyone really knows what they mean when they talk of  boundaries." 

Pinterest seems to know a lot about the topic. 

• Listen to yourself 
• Speak your needs
• Say no when you want 
• Do what makes you happy
• Don't let people use you

Sounds so. . . selfish. 

Especially compared to: 

Turn the other cheek. Walk a second mile. Let your coat be stolen. Give to those who would hurt you and take advantage of you. Don't resist or fight against those who are evil; pray for them instead! Love your enemies. 

(Matthew 5:38-40)

So... Don't have boundaries? 

Ah. But does this mean we let people do just whatever they want to us? 

Funny thing; the people who most often tell me to know my boundaries are Christians. 

"Keturah, be careful. Guard your heart and know your boundaries."

It's written in scripture...

"Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life." 

(Proverbs 4:23)

Cleary I'm not meant to be a pushover; The Proverbs woman wasn't even a doormat! The parable of the Unjust Steward (Luke 16) suggests that there are things, even, that we must protect and not give away. Virtue demands a woman resist assault, yes? A father punishes a child for breaking boundaries. Does giving away your cloak mean that if someone takes a liking to your house they get it? 

What if boundaries aren't mine, as in I've made them, but mine as in my gift from God? 

The Shepherd holds the staff, he sets the boundaries and keeps the sheep within. And when the wolf or lion or bear comes, He deals with them and brings the sheep back home. 

"Know your boundaries." 

What if this doesn't mean that I set boundaries for myself, but that I am become aware of the ones that have been set for me? What if sticking to my boundaries is more of a matter of obedience rather than selfish pursuits? God says, and so I do. 

Boundaries are set by those who have authority, to keep those under their care safe. My boundaries are what secure and protect me. And those who set the boundaries do not turn a blind eye when the boundaries have been crossed, but do all that is in their power to restore that person to their rightful place. God chastens. A father whips. A babysitter says, "Time out!" 

It is not that I need to say, "No" to things that don't please me, but to things that displease God. 

It's not that I need to make time for myself, but to make time for Heavenly pursuits. 

It's not that I don't protect myself, but that I value the gifts God has blessed me with, including my own body and mind. 

But never do I put my own body and mind over that of any of His other children. 

And when I'm given authority to place boundaries for those under my care, whether as an employer, mother, etc, then may I also have the strength to wield the staff. May I offer punishment for the ultimate good of the one straying, so they will return to all that is good and safe. 

There is a time to turn the other cheek; a time to hand out consequences. A time to obey authority, a time to accept the responsibility of being the one who has authority. 

But we do not create our own boundaries. Instead, we are within the ones placed for us or have the power to dictate the boundaries others are to have. But even then, our dictations are mere recitations first established by God. 

And when the wolf comes, he is the one who suffers condemnations. Dear people who have had their boundaries violated, you are not at fault. When you have no power, no authority, when you are forced to turn the other cheek and lie in coldness, do no be ashamed.  The Shepherd shall retrieve you and slay the evil one. The sin lies solely on the one that has tormented purity. 

Ah, but what of liberty? Where there are boundaries there can be no true freedom, our foolish and perverse hearts protest. 

Freedom for what? To run out of the fold over the cliff's edge? Into the wolf's mouth? There is nothing desirable beyond our boundaries. Licentiousness mocks liberty. Liberty is knowing your boundaries and loving where you belong and rejoicing because you have life rather than death. 

Puts a new light on, "For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" doesn't it? 

Do you know your boundaries?