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After Grief Comes Nostalgia (a travel update)

I don't feel boredom. I'm recovering from an addiction to anxiety (so I've been drawing faces onto my toes)

After a steady workaholic season I decided it was time to get on the road again. This time indefinitely and with less structure than before. I basically won't come home until I've danced in Tennessee, and hopefully l'll return with twenty-five feet of tatted lace. 

I will most likely stay on the road longer than that. I need to learn to hold onto something (faith). And I need to prepare myself for some big changes. 
My first destination was a family reunion in Oklahoma. But first I organized a hike with a random assortment of Colorado friends (they did not know each other). 

We did a lot of car camping and caravanning for the weekend there. We tried to visit a small cult I love, but that didn't work out.

I found a beautiful café and saw googly eyes on construction cones. But this lower picture is from some bathroom in Colorado.

The family reunion revived me. I spent a lot of time reading or napping in my car, making sure my smiles were nice, and talking with my aunts or grandparents. 

We were all at a large Sukkot gathering I mentioned last year
This picture of my siblings and friends gives me Sandelot vibes

I brought a pile of thrifted knives with me with the hope I'd find someone to sharpen them for me. 

I found them.
Later I was whispered an invitation to a campfire (there was a fireban in Oklahoma). Of course I went, and took a friend and my sister. 

When nearly there we saw a truck coming toward us. So we had behind a tree until our knees cramped. The fire was wonderful! A circle of Christian anarchists talking of dreams and how God has answered them in our lives. 

And of course the man who started the fire talked about how rules were for the public, for those who believed in buying down to nebuchadnezzar's rules when he says "thou shalt obey the State". 

It wasn't about disobeying the State, or of being rebellious, but of doing what one does regardless of another man's opinion. 

(Besides most of camp security knew about it and approved, and were in on making sure it was secreted and safe)

A couple hours into the fire some higher up people pulled up with their bright truck lights. Staggering from a bit too much alcholol they came over and chewed us out.

Quietly we women disappeared into the woods while the men killed the fire. No need to let them have a chance to have our names. 

We regrouped elsewhere and had a good laugh before parting ways.

Because my Grampa was there I decided to host a spontaneous engagement with him. I made flyers and hung them all over camp bathrooms and doors. A day in one of the staff saw my flyers and told me to use the cafeteria instead. 

Part of me thinks my original destination would have been cooler ;) 

We had well over a hundred people attend from my two day notice. Speaking with my Grampa on our experiences with the social security number felt in many ways like the reward to all I've been doing with that. And like a sort of closure (though I'm far from done).

My brother recorded most of the presentation. You can find it on YouTube.
Saying bye was somewhat sad, especially to my grandparents, and yet I also felt so revived by the time spent there I hardly could feel grief leaving.

I made a quick visit to an uncle in Missouri then drove toward Detroit.

First stop was meeting up with a Twitter mutual and antiquing together (white dress at top of post was found there).
Then I went to stay with some Montana friends who are currently in Detroit for a sewing program. 

The weeken there was lovely! We went to a couple parties and I borrowed my friend's sewing machine to alter a few things I found on a free table at Sukkot.

Also made this Italian lace dress into a blouse.

It was a cozy visit, where you're just glad to be around people. Such visits somehow also make it possible to get writing done, and I did a nice bit of writing.

Elizabeth and I met up at a Cafe... this visit has been on my bucket list for quite some time. She is the one who edited Susan of Narnia serial.
We talked a lot about children and skin and all the real life stories that preoccupy our hearts now (and how we haven't forgotten our made up stories).

I then visited a penpal of many years ago and spent an evening and morning with her and her children in their old-fashioned home. She probably doesn't remember, but I credit her to the reason I started this blog so many years ago.
I stayed with Mary, of course! Her little girls are just more and more fun every time I see them. 

Mary is currently building their house. We camped out over there and laughed until our throats hurt.
And so ends my first month on the road. 
I've just found out I've been accepted into a folk school work study program. So my time on the road shall be quite long. And I'm glad, after all that dreading it, I am glad I left. 

God has shown me so many wonderful things so far. Mostly I've been experiencing the wild and the sweet. How good nice people are properly dangerous and the only sort I want to do crazy things with.

I really do love security and the feeling that I'm rooted. But I also know complacency and bubbles don't truly give you anything but a miserable death.

It is love rather than fences that shelter us from all harm.

It is knowing some people find you're special that makes you feel safe enough to do all terrifying and even tame things alongside them. 

Trusting someone is the most liberating thing a tired soul can do.

And that's what I've been experiencing. It brings you to a happy place when you wake up in the morning, or perhaps adds a tinge of madness to your laugh late at night. It leaves you feeling content even if you know there is still much suffering around and ahead.

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