My finished Quilt

An era of my life is finished.

Last night I tied the last knot on this quilt, a project for my hope chest that's been with me since February 2018. A friend said it must feel like a child after all this time. Not really, it is more like an unanswered thesis. But it is written, and for that I am thankful.

This quilt is something I began to dream at twelve years old when I found the embroidery pattern, a bunch of baskets of flowers, at a quilting shop. When I "won" a Janome sewing machine (pretty sure the woman just liked me and drew my name and called it a "second winner". She also copied out the pattern for me, because I'd admired it for so long, and told me to someday use it.

Years passed, and then one day, a little over five years ago, I needed something to lift me out of a mindset. The song based on Psalm 42 by the Sing Team was my current favorite song. It felt like I was eating a lot of tears and would be for the rest of my life. And so I told myself, let's see how many things you can cry over for five years.

I indeed cried over a lot of things for five years, many of those tears though went into the quilt and I ended up tasting something sweeter than bitterness. I learned to dream again, and I found visions that fit my soul. I let my soul alone and I let God have control of my will and my fears. And eventually, those tears watered wildflowers.

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Along with the longtime yearning of doing a quilt the authentic way (completely by hand) came the desire to learn to tat lace.

I wanted all of it to be made of good materials: I found muslin wide enough to back the entire king-sized quilt, purchased quality cottons, and the batting is from a local wool mill ran by a friend.

I wanted something that would take a long time, for it to implement many skill sets, and for it to be the bearer of time.

It has been just that, and while sometimes I roll my eyes at the actual arrangement and colors I chose five years ago, I am content because of what this quilt holds, regardless of current mature preferences. It's somewhat sad to be done with something that's been with me for so long, something that has represented a lot and now carries many stories... the initial heartbreak turned excitement, the renewal of stories, my time in Germany, the lace knitted while helping with my friends' babies, the embroidery done while my dad was in the hospital, the lace tatted while on many road trips, and all the bits done while church hopping or for that short bit where it took up all my living room.

There is only one way to summarize the pains and joys of these last years: this quilt. So much tried ambition and discovered delight.

I'm already touching new projects, and so the nostalgia is overshadowed by excitement. But that's exactly what I would have wanted when I first started what I thought was an impossible task (not because of the actual work).