More Than Modest: Respect

This is loosely related to my post More Than Modest.

This post was originally published at the blog A Pinch Of Classy, where I do monthly fashion posts. 

I have come to a huge realization: most of the world is selfish. Past the way we act and speak, on to the way we dress. To each individual life and the world revolves 100% around “me” and the way they do things.

And I am no exception to this.

(Do you ever like to watch people and think, 'to them I am the stranger. To them something drastic is happening. Their life is all that matters – my problems would be petty to them.' It's a humbling thought.)

I am going to try and keep this post clothing focused...but as in many areas, my thoughts are directly and indirectly weaved around so many others.

Life never unravels in one place – but the whole garment of
existence has a way of catching flame suddenly all at once. Not only
is it hard to put out the fire – but the damage isn't just a little
bit of mending.

More like a complete remake – but there are still pieces worth salvaging???

Anyways...fashion...modesty...respect...clothes...clothes
and how we wear them.

Man, this isn't just some light issue...even amidst deeper, harder things. It still
matters.

I've always believed
that the way a girl dresses should express her femininity with
humbleness, appropriateness, and respectfulness. I've always believed
and still believe that those are the key elements of what make up
modesty.

But...what do those
qualities really mean? What do they look like? So many disagree...so
many have good points...some are just plain wrong - or are they?

What is perspective,
what is truth?

And what is simply
hypocrisy?

I look at so many
women that dress like me (and way more conservative). Even though I
understand their background I also can see deeper, past those
clothes.

It seems so much of
conservative modesty is really just a mask to hide a vulgar,
feministic, selfish woman. No joy (or smiling). No beauty.

Shouldn't women be
beautiful – aren't we after all the epitome of beauty, of God's
creation?

And then I've seen
that so much of conservative dress is completely a man-made belief –
and we judge each other on our own self-made rules!

Where in the Bible
does it say a dress must be full and ankle length? Or that we must
dress against the modern culture?

Where in the Bible
does it say, “Seek weirdness, flee fashion”?

It doesn't.

I still hold to my
core beliefs in how to dress...but I am unsure how those ideas must
be expressed through my clothing in ways that both honor God and man.
In ways that show respect yet I can still express my personality.

I'm not saying
modesty is bad...but it most certainly is being abused.

Dress appropriately,
yes – but we don't need to hide the fact we are women and have a
shape.

Women are not
offensive.

We are beautiful.

Conservatism modesty
(hide under layers and layers of polyester – sweat out your faith)
doesn't help women be true women.

And neither does the
porn industry or Holly Wood (starve yourself to get your bones to
pop, then give away your skin for free in clothing that is very
worthy of being labeled poverty rags. Show all men what you have –
and hide next to nothing) inspire feeling in women of being something
more than an object for men.

These two extremes
scream at all of us young girls.

How are we supposed
to know what to do? Feel good about ourselves?

Balance is a foreign
concept – we only know the two wrongs.

Be holy and “save”
our entirety for a potential husband (who may not notice us because
he's enthralled in the cheap alternative that is too accessible).

In frustrations so
many of us throw away the layers...to embrace almost nothing. Trying
to say, “I am just as beautiful...”

Of course there is
still the chance he will only see what you are showing instead of who
you are...and even then what you have may not be enough...

Starvation...fashionable
clothes...it doesn't work.

Wow…

But why not???

The problem is way
bigger than the way we dress, first off…but that is another matter
entirely.

Dressing to please
anyone but God will lead you only to darkness – there will always
be someone to find fault.

We must recognize
the hypocrisy. But we don't run away from it toward sin.

We embrace the truth
of what was said – and “fix it up” instead of covering the
truth in lies.

We are women, and
must dress accordingly despite what the two extremes tell us.

I am wanting to
learn how to respect God and man and myself by not becoming an object
– whether an object that hides behind layers or an object that
exposes her skin for men to lust after. Who is with me???

I'm still not sure
what this looks like. I'm still not sure on a lot of things.

But it is starting
to fit together...slowly.

I do not need to be
ashamed or hide my body. And I do not need to prove this by embracing
the opposite end of the stick – I can still be me, be free in the
fact that I am me with out being ashamed of not conforming to one or
the other.

True femininity
starts with those modesty qualities being instilled in our hearts
through Jesus (Yeshua). And once it is we should be able to better
express that true modesty in the way we dress.

Many will still judge and hate.

But modesty
(fashion) isn't about receiving approval. It's about so much more –
such as what is right.

This is an old picture - but I love it because it was a time from my life when I was happy for no reason. When I had every right to be depressed - I was content. The feelings in this picture - this should be our fashion statement. 

Tell me, girls –
what does your journey toward respectful dress look like?

We are all in this
together, after all. Every movie, every magazine, every garment that
is made – it honors or offends each of us personally. And affects
all of us together.