Irresolutions

Last year I was tired of the me I was.

So I set resolutions. Just like every other year.

I was going to be better. I was going to love more. I was going to be different... no more old, nasty me.

Beautiful.

Perfect.

Caring. 

Kind.

I was going to chase all my wildest dreams. No fear was allowed to hold me back.

I was going to travel to new places. 

I was going to experience new, exciting things. 

Lose all that weight. Eat completely healthy. Read my Bible five times a day. Pray every second. Be a friend to everyone. Find true love. Give to twenty missions.

It was also the year I was going to take the most selfies, posted with false quotes to inspire millions!!!! #Selfielover

I was going to become the me I've always wanted to be.

And, so what happened???

I succeeded!!!! 

Guys, I'm now perfect!!!!!!!!!!

I can now be proud of the me I am.

I accomplished all my New Year Resolutions for 2017. And, boy, do I feel wonderful... except what do I do this year around?

I'm so perfect I can't make any more resolutions. ;/

I mean... what can I change about me, now?

A whole year of work... and now I'm stuck in perfection. Forever.

It's actually a depressing thought. Except I don't get depressed anymore.

Well, after much thought I have finally realized what I must do.

I must take a regress year.

It's not right to be this perfect, to have no room left to resolve me. So, I will back slide a little. 

I'll be a little less kind. 

A little less me.

That way in 2019 I'll have something to work toward again! 

2018 is my irresolution year!!!

I'm so happy :) Maybe you'd like to join me, if you too met all your resolutions? 

Here's to irresolutions! 

I do hope that you caught on that this is satire. My regular post is still scheduled for Wednesday! Can't wait to see you all then :D 

Here are some other posts I wrote for previous New Years:

2015

Wednesdays

2017 Happiness