Skip to main content

The Two Sides of Me

This is me

This is me

I'm not sure if the two me's overlap, or if they are completely different?

Part of me has a life. 

I sew.
I model.
I read.
I write (and have manuscripts to prove it).
I have friends (and spend time with them. At least long enough for a selfie).
I have family.
I always have something big happening, normally more than one thing at a time.
And my clothes are very . . . shall we say artistic?
Mostly I smile, but sometimes I share about pain, or my Dad being in a car accident and nearly dying, or rocky friendships, or stress. I have a colorful life, and the colors spread from pink to black, to all the shades between.
Overall, when you see me you see an unending variety of life.

Part of me has no life . . . 
. . . Yet, that part of me seems to be obsessed with mirrors and smiling and cleaning.
EVERYTHING is clean.
My humor is clean.
My singing is clean (and the toilet brush is my mic).
My friends are clean.
My day is clean. 
I walk to work because that keeps my body clean.
I'm always, ALWAYS, always cleaning.
Except my clothes are atrocious. Too big. UGLY. But at least they are of a clean fashion.
This is my everyday life. 

Even my satire is some sort of twisted cleaner's lingo.

Question: What do you call a cleaner's ex?
Answer: A dirt bag.

Acceptable marriage proposal: Will you clean only my house forever? Be my house cleaner.

Having two Instagrams and keeping them both active actually isn't that hard. 
And, all joking aside, I don't feel like two different people. I don't feel like I have no life vs have too much life. 
I love all of my life. 
Even though I rarely talk about my work on my regular page and rarely talk about my life/ writing on my cleaning page, I don't feel like I have a split personality. 
Not really. 
Though . . . sometimes I wonder? 
Because I never have to think about which post belongs on which page . . . 
I know where the different sides of me belong. 
Is that weird? 

Do you ever feel like there's more than one side to who you are? If so, I don't think that's bad. Just think about it . . . we humans are too complicated to be just one thing. The more alive we are the more there is to us. In fact, I believe all of us have hundreds and hundreds of sides. And that's why identity is so complicated. We like things simplified—but how can we be simplified with a single word when there's so much to who we are? 

Also, if you don't follow me on either of my Instagrams, feel free to add me! Because the pictures are so fun, yes? 

P.S. I have no idea when I wrote this post, but it's been waiting for a long time to be posted. But since I wrote it, I've stumbled across this fun Instagram post that really summarizes up the heart of what I'm saying here. Enjoy!


  1. This was very interesting! I love how you're saying you can be yourself but have various personalities at the same time!

    I'm definitely that way, though I rarely come out of one personality unless I know someone well. Then I'm like this rainbow of colors, and it's all crazy and great because it's me and God made me (and everyone else!) To be as diverse as they can possibly be.

    Love this post!!

    ~ Lily Cat (Boots) |

    1. We really are various. Like I said recently to a friend, we are a cancel radiating light and those around us can only see different rays and so it's like there's more than one of us because all of the rays make us up.

      And I think that as you grow older and hang out with more good people those rainbow colors will shine more. . That's how it's been with me at least 😂 thanks for your lovely thoughts!

  2. Love this! I don't think you have a split personality at all, I think you have a very full life with several very different and very well-polished facets which, though in some ways very different from each other, are in no way incompatible. :D If a girl's only paying attention to one part of her life, she's got a problem, right?

    1. Haha yeah I don't feel like I have a split personality either. Though I've been realizing lately that's it's very possible to be super excited about one thing and very stresses out about another thing all at once.
      You're so right! Gotta focus on more than one thing... woman after all habe a reputation of multitasking to keep up ;)

  3. I relate to this so much! I always feel like different people bring out different sides in me, thankfully mostly good sides so far :p

    1. Just WAIT until you meet the people that bring out your bad sides ;) just kidding, Haha! Thanks!

  4. I do feel like that sometimes, more than one side.... it's so complicated.... guess you just got to love every side. Lol

  5. I feel a bit multidimensional at times. So I relate to this!

    1. Haha it can be a scary feeling ... until you embrace it;)

  6. *laugh* Yeah, I know what you mean. I couple of months ago I went through an identity crisis because I saw all the things that were different about me in different places and I was trying to figure out which one was ME... ended up, all of them are in a way. xD

    1. I think this is why so many have so called identity crisis. I mean, it's real ... but for most of us we just have to realize we are human and impossible to be put in a box. So glad you figured it out ;)


Post a Comment

Popular Posts

Living Like The Amish: Interviews With Three "English" Families PART I

Many people are obsessed with the Amish. I know at one time I was as well, and to a degree I still am. But my perception  has changed with experience. It started a long time ago when my family went to an Amish-held auction (no, it's not a place where you can buy Amish children, but a place where you can buy things from the Amish). I was eleven years old and enthralled to be surrounded by so many Amish. I loved the cockscomb flowers they sold everywhere. I bought a whole box for $2 and dried them for seeds so I could plant my own. But then I experienced my first reality shock concerning the Amish. I had assumed since they lived a simpler life everything about them was completely old-fashioned and natural. Imagine my horror when I saw Amish walking around with soda cans and store-bought ice cream. " Mom ," I said. "He's drinking soda!"  Left to right, back row: Jonny, Jonathan (Dad). Front row: Jacob, Keturah, Rebekah (Mom), Jonah (on Mom's

Peace During Patience

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.” - Philippians 4:6 My family and I were sitting around the breakfast table several months ago. Mom had just read this verse. One of the kids laughed incredulously, “What is it saying? Be careful for nothing – live recklessly?” “No,” I answered quickly. My tone was very matter-of-fact, blunt, as if I were all-knowing. “It means do not worry.” The kids all nodded among themselves and life continued on for them. But for me life paused at my words. I had heard this verse soooooooo many times. I had always known what it meant. But now? Now it really meant something . “Do not worry.” This path I've chosen. I can not see it. I can not feel it. I do not know where I am. I have chosen to follow God, and no other. But why did He hide the light from my eyes? I must take a step forward. But I do not want to. How long w

Inside The Land Of The Free

Hello. My name is Greg.  I have a lot of time to think. Too much time. Sometimes I think about my life - why I am sitting in prison. I wonder what I could have done different - my life plays before my eyes. "If only..." But even I know that no amount of good works would have stopped tyranny from finding fault with me. It is cold. My clothes are thin. My stomach is empty - occasionally filled with food of no sustenance.  I hide my face in my knees - as if that will somehow protect me from the horrors of this dark cold dungeon.  They keep it cold to freeze me, this I know. It is a part of their game - to drive a lesson into me. As if I have a lesson to learn solely because I was convicted. Convicted, but not  guilty. Years.  68 years for standing against injustice. How many years have I sat in here? I have forgot. All I know is this question, "Was I fated for this? Did God grant my birth

It Doesn't Take a Genius to Recognize Corruption

After attending the writer's conference I had the opportunity to spend a week with my dad in Las Vegas (we went to federal court trials). I don't usually speak much of his work as I'm not sure all what to say about it. He keeps the public updated with what's happening in court, with all the many men locked up that he's trying to help out. I think he said there are like 19 guys right now that he is specifically trying to help release.  {If any of you have heard of the Bundy Ranch Stand Off, you'll know a little of what he is doing} I won't go into too much detail with his work. I will say if you want to know more of how to help out and learn what's going on just do some googling - my dad's name is John Lamb. You should be able to find plenty on him ;p Anyways, I was quite shocked the first day. Security didn't surprise me at all. Very much like an airport ;p  Except, most of the security was actually nicer ;) I was very p